Could your Christmas gifts change your behaviour?

On Christmas morning your partner hands you a beautifully wrapped present. You peel back the paper to reveal a Montblanc fountain pen in its presentation case.

As you grasp the pen between your thumb and forefinger, you feel stylish and sophisticated. You also feel energised to begin writing that book you have been planning.

Is it just the joy of receiving a carefully considered gift, or the thrill of acquiring a status symbol, that makes us feel this way? Or could it be something more?

Can the items we own – like a Montblanc fountain pen – shape our sense of identity and behaviour, even if we didn’t choose them ourselves?

If so, can we use the Christmas presents we give to influence and inspire those around us?

What shapes our sense of identity?

Previous research has suggested that the social groups we do or do not belong to affect how we perceive ourselves and the choices we make.

For example, imagine you have recently moved to New York for work and are trying to decide whether to join a dressy wine club or a rugged beer club to expand your social circle.

While weighing your options, you spot a sophisticated looking New Yorker. This could influence your decision in two different ways.

On one hand, they could inspire you to adopt that heightened sense of sophistication as you now live and work in New York too. This could nudge you towards selecting the wine club.

Alternatively, they could become the standard against which you judge your own sophistication as someone who was not born and raised in New York.

If you feel less sophisticated by comparison, you might be more likely to choose the beer club.

My colleague Gita V. Johar and I proposed that the objects we own can influence our identity and our decisions in a similar way to the social groups we belong to.

Do the objects we own influence how we view ourselves?

Throughout history, humans have chosen to surround themselves with artefacts that say something about who we are as individuals.

But we suspected that the objects we own don’t just reflect our personality – they shape it.

We created a series of experiments to prove this. The first involved presenting participants with one of two coffee mugs – one tall and thin, the other short and thick.

Having tried the mug, half the participants received it as a gift, while the other half did not. They then completed a questionnaire on how tall they felt and their physical self-esteem.

Those gifted a mug assessed themselves as similar to the mug they received. If they were given the shorter mug, they saw themselves as shorter.

We found an opposite pattern if they were not gifted a mug. These participants felt taller if they tried the shorter mug, but did not receive it as a gift.

In other words, the nature of an object can influence how we feel about ourselves.

The power of gift ideas

Interestingly, we don’t have to choose that item ourselves in order for it to shape our identity. The effect is just as real if we receive it as a gift. And not owning an item can influence the way we view ourselves in contrast to it.

The impact is not confined to the objects that we legally own. Simply using a particular item can make us feel like we own it – a phenomenon known as psychological ownership. These items can exert a similar influence on the way we view ourselves.

We confirmed this effect with another experiment using different sets of headphones. Half answered questions while wearing headphones and half after they had taken them off.

We found that participants felt greater ownership of the headphones if they answered questions while wearing them. Moreover, they felt lighter in weight or heavier depending on whether they were wearing light or heavy headphones.

Our findings have several applications for gift-giving at Christmas or any other occasion.

They can help firms to choose more meaningful gifts to give to their staff, business associates, and customers.

For example, a consultancy firm may give its staff a Rubik’s cube for Christmas. The simple act of owning such a thought-provoking toy could make employees feel more analytical. As a result, they view themselves as problem solvers, which aligns them with the company’s purpose and identity.

Our findings can also help individuals to choose more inspiring gifts for friends and family. This can improve self-esteem and encourage them to pursue their goals during the year ahead, like the Montblanc pen.

The value of more thoughtful gifts

It can also have a more complex, nuanced effect. A gift that embodies multiple values or ideas can provide a richer foundation for personal growth, encouraging the recipient to think more deeply about the item they have received and shape their own identity.

For example, a friend of mine recently gave his 13-year-old son a hatchet as a coming-of-age gift. The wooden handle was carefully engraved with two words – courage on one side and caution on the other.

By pairing these values, my friend has encouraged his son to embrace a mindset of thoughtful consideration as he navigates the path to adulthood. The result is a gift that is not just memorable, but meaningful.

In contrast, a gift that is given with the obvious intention of manipulating the recipient’s behaviour is likely to be swiftly discarded or even rejected.

One example could be buying a book for people we know never read. We feel they should read more, and we get them a book to 'improve' them.

This practice is never a good idea. It implies judgement and is likely to lead to rejection.

On the other hand, how should we respond if we receive a gift we do not want?

Imagine that a well-meaning aunt always gives you poorly fitting clothes for Christmas. This year she hands you an oversized jumper, which you know will make you feel baggy and unattractive.

Custom dictates that you should accept the jumper politely. You could justify it be convincing yourself that it might be useful on cold days. Alternatively, it could sit in your wardrobe until your next clear out, when you donate it to a charity shop.

Avoiding the negative impact of an unsuitable gift

We would argue that imposing some boundaries might lead to a better outcome. Deciding to decline the oversized jumper will make you feel more attractive.

Respectfully explain that you are trying to change or grow in a particular direction and you have learned that the objects you own can help or hinder this process.

Tell them you appreciate the gift but you would like to swap it for an item of clothing that fits you better and suits the lifestyle you are aiming for.

We cannot guarantee how your aunt will react. There is a chance she may be offended. But on the other hand, she may be understanding and give you better fitting clothes in future.

And the conversation could have an added benefit. Research shows that by making a goal public, we tend to double down on the commitment and are more likely to achieve it.

We may live in a throwaway age of consumerism, but the objects we own still affect how we see ourselves.

This can have a positive impact, helping us to forge a stronger sense of identity and encouraging better behaviours. However, owning too many objects that conflict with that identity can dilute it, or adversely affect how we view ourselves.

By thinking about the gifts we give and receive this Christmas as objects that influence our sense of self, we can embrace a more positive New Year.

Further reading:

Is your credit card statement nudging you into more debt?

Why sales teams need to modernise and understand data analytics

The Consistency Trap: How to make better decisions

Products as Self-Evaluation Standards: When owned and unowned products have opposite effects on self-judgement

Liad Weiss is Associate Professor in the Marketing Group at Warwick Business School. He teaches Marketing on the Full-Time MBA and Global Online MBA.

Learn more about behavioural science on our four-day programme Behavioural Science and the Real World at WBS London at The Shard.

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